Yvette is a nurse and works as a diabetes educator in a local hospital setting. Yvette was married but when that didn’t work out, she always said that if she was not a mother by 30, she would adopt. She finished her paperwork prior to turning 30 (minimum age to adopt from China) and was ready to adopt from China by her 30th birthday. Yvette adopted Charlee internationally. Charlee was referred when she was 9 months old and Yvette traveled to China to meet her for the first time when she was 11 months old. From her referral picture and information, all she knew was that Charlee was small and had possibly experienced some malnutrition. If you see Charlee’s referral picture, you will agree…..even with the buzzed haircut that often accompanies an orphanage stay in China, Charlee was and still is adorable! Charlee is also a fighter and survived even when the odds were likely not in her favor. Today (4 years old), she is a fun, strong willed, and adorable girl who is very lucky to have been adopted.
After a few years, she realized she wanted to adopt another child and started the process to adopt from Russia. As time went on, she felt that Russia was not where her child was and put her paperwork in to adopt domestically. Soon after putting in her paperwork for domestic adoption( i.e., 3 weeks), she was chosen by a local adoption agency and now is the proud mother of Natalee. Natalee is currently 17 months, is also extremely adorable and has a very easy going, laid back temperament. She smiles easily and is just very fun to be around.
Advice for Other Single Momas
Yvette's advice for other singles who want to be a mom is to go for it. Of course she says, it's easier said than done. She suggests a few things are in place before you begin the adoption process.
1.Finances- Yvette stated that the adoption process is not expensive after you take into consideration the Federal Tax Credit, possible employer adoption benefit, medical insurance adoption indemnity benefit, etc....Having children is expensive, especially childcare. Besides her mortgage, she spends more money on childcare per month than anything else. She stated that, "If you are adopting an infant, formula for the first 12-15 months adds up every month. Alot will depend on the type of formula. Don't forget clothing, diapers, wipes, food, toys, etc....Don't forget your rain day funds, and retirement."
2. Medical insurance- Yvette has two children that have both required or will require multiple surgeries. She doesn't know what she would have done without insurance to cover the bills. Plus there are the well baby/child visits plus all the other extra visits for fevers, ear pains, etc.
3. Support- Yvette has great family support that are very close by. She's had to call in favors at the last minute several times. She also has a terrific support from friends. As a single mom, you'll need an avenue to vent frustrations, concerns, wonders, guilt, and share in the joys of having children.
4. Yvette suggests: Be realistic- Being a single mom is HARD work. There is always something to be done, clothes to wash, things to organize, dishes to be washed, etc....Since being a Mom, she's changed her priorities several times. Her house is not cleaned deeply as often as it was before children, her car isn't washed as often, and the closets are not as organized as they should be. Finding a balance of household duties, work duties, and spending quality time with your children is a hard balance.
Hardest Part About Being a Single Mom:
Trying to find time to do everything that needs to get done. Yvette struggles with this all the time. She knows that there are a million things that need to get done but there is only so much time in the day. She has to prioritize what really needs to be done, what can she and the kids can do as a family, what needs to be done during nap times and after night time, etc.... Finally, Yvette states: "Remember to save time everyday to spend quality time with your children. They grow up so fast."
Charlee
Natalee and her amazing smile!
Natalee 1 year old!
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